Monday, November 16, 2015

Top 5 Reasons Why Your Kalinga Man Won’t Marry You

You met this tall, dark, handsome, witty and intelligent Kalinga man, and you have plans of marrying him, but he has never mentioned marriage or talked about any marriage plans with you. Apparently, there seems to be a problem! So what may these problems be?

Image credit: Benedict Ballug

Here are the Top 5 possible reasons why your Kalinga man has not proposed marriage. These reasons are opinionated and are based on my own observations. Hence, you can leave your comment below if you don’t agree with me.

 #1 - He perceives you as a girlfriend material only 

He’s attracted to you and he’s your boyfriend but he does not perceive you as a wife material. Even during this new generation of women liberation and similar beliefs, at heart, the Kalinga man would still like his wife to be pure and pristine when he marries her.

Yes, Virginia, virginity matters. No matter how he denies it, he still wants his wife to be a virgin. So, if you want him to marry you, don’t surrender one of the most important things to him – your virginity. Don’t be a playgirl.

Well, men, in general, would not want their future wives to be “players.” In other words, treasure and respect yourself, and he will likewise do so - enough to ask your hand in marriage.

#2 – You belong to another economic level 

Kalinga men are not particular about economic levels but they prefer women who can speak the same language they speak, in terms of finances; someone they can bring home and not feel uncomfortable with. In case, you belong to the extremes: filthy rich or the poorest of the poor then learn how to follow his leads.

If he eats on a banana leaf with his bare hands, then you must be able to do so too. If he uses a silver spoon to eat, then you should be able to adjust, as well. His parents would say: “Nuw, umma agumman ne sanat atde koon tako.” (What would she know about our customs?) Learn about the customs of Kalinga, if you’re from another province and you’re not familiar with them.

#3 – You’re too romantic for his taste 

Most women tend to be romantics, but take note that most Kalinga men are not showy of their feelings, so they tend to appear unromantic. They don’t usually hold your hand or demonstrate their affection in public. But it doesn’t mean they love you less. They feel that these affectionate acts should be done in private.

Therefore, don’t demand from him sweetness and similar things, when in public. If he holds your hand or put his arm around your shoulders, then be thankful for it. But don’t initiate the action. You may appear cheap and clingy.

#4 – You’re boisterous 

Most Kalinga men want their wives quiet and attentive - especially to their men. Kalinga is a patriarchal community where men are heard first before women. They don’t want nagging and noisy wives, who don’t know their places in the household. They would prefer to marry women who are reserved and who respect their authority as men.

#5 – You’re lazy 

One of the good traits of the Kalinga people, in general, is industry. They’re so industrious spending their time working wherever they can. It’s very rare to find someone just being a couch potato. You’ll have more points if you know how to do the dishes, wash, and cook. Of course, he’s not looking for a housemaid, but he would prefer marrying someone who can feed him and his future kids properly - even without a maid.

These are the Top 5 reasons why your Kalinga boyfriend can’t marry you. Of course, love conquers all. If your boyfriend truly loves you, then nothing can stop him from proposing marriage.

These are only pointers to help you capture the heart of your Kalinga man. It can also help you gain more “beauty” points to increase your chances of receiving a marriage proposal.

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