Sunday, November 29, 2015

5 Ways to React to People Who Insult You Because You’re an I-Kalinga

We find rude people anywhere in society. There will always be bad eggs, who enjoy embarrassing and belittling people. What more, they can do so with a drop of a hat when they learn you belong to a cultural minority such as the Kalingas.

Lola Carmen Ilacad

If you encounter an a_ _h_ _e like the person described above, here are 5 ways you can react to him/her.

1.      Ignore him

He/she pokes fun of you in public by calling you names such as “monkey” or similar words. Ignore him like you heard nothing. Why stoop down to the level of a moron?  If a crazy person sticks out his tongue to you, do you do likewise? Of course not, because you’re not crazy as well, so act as if he’s not there, and you heard nothing. Just leave him and go your merry way.

2.      Smile at him

He/she says you’re a bumbling idiot because you’re from Kalinga. Smile sincerely at him/her. Smile can do wonders, so why trouble yourself by becoming embarrassed and angry.  It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Don’t stress yourself.

3.      Ask him “what’s up?”

He/she calls you an ignoramus because of a tiny error you committed such as, putting the fork in the wrong receptacle. Put on your sweetest smile and say; “What’s up man? Or What’s up guys or girls?” Or whatever is applicable. Then proceed to explain your actions in straight English. Watch how his/her jaw would drop. Oftentimes, ignorant people think that cultural minorities don’t know how to speak English. They would be surprised to learn that even older native people are better in speaking English than Tagalog. My late grandmother speaks English better than Tagalog. Watch their mouths clamp once you start speaking English. Truly learned persons won’t embarrass you in front of other people, so don’t worry about encountering excellent English speakers.

4.      Accord him the “Royal Treatment”

In cases when he/she calls your attention to embarrass you in public. Give him/her the “Royal Treatment” How? By talking to him in the Kalinga dialect. Don’t cuss, though. Remember, you’re a learned person with dignity and self-respect. You can say: “Umma laydom? Ippon mambalo de katnat.” Smile while delivering your rebuttal. This is the clincher. He/she will surely stop babbling and leave you in peace, once he/she realizes he/she doesn’t understand your language.

5.      Give him a piece of advice

In a calm manner, ask him/her what’s the problem, and if you can do anything about it. Then after evaluating the incident, give him/her your two cents’ worth.  During the proceedings, always stay calm and collected. Avoid blowing your top for whatever reason. An emotionally mature person can control or reign in his/her emotions properly and effectively.
These methods are just suggestions. It’s a case to case basis, really. Just remember to react calmly and reasonably. Show the rude person the true, good character of an i-Kalinga.
If you have any suggestions or comments, you can share them in the comment section below.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

5 Lies about I-Kalingas; Believe Them at Your Own Risk

There are myths and lies that are often associated with the Kalinga people. Some are outrageously funny and some are outright lies. To help you classify the facts from the lies, here are 5 lies about the Kalinga people.

Image courtesy of Benedict

5 lies about the i-Kalingas

Lie #1 – Majority of i-Kalingas are dressed in G-strings

It might surprise you to know that the i-Kalingas are now unrecognizable amidst a crowd because they dress exactly like everyone. The young Kalinga natives may even be more fashionable than you are. They only wear the native costumes during cultural events or during presentations of their culture. Some old folk in the villages may still wear the G-strings (for men) and the ginamat (for women), but these are few.

Lie #2 – They are head-hunters

Well, this is true during the olden times when tribal wars were rampant. Today, there are still tribal wars and “bodongs” (peace pacts), but they don’t use bolos anymore, now they use guns instead. C’mon. I’m not saying that it’s a common occurrence. I’m just trying to explain that the Kalinga people are now advanced with regards to technology.

Lie #3 – They are barbarians

Quit the thought that mountain people are barbarians. Numerous i-Kalingas are learned and dignified people who are now in government, in the academe, in the entertainment industry and in science and technology. They are intelligent people who have new and bright ideas. The esteemed person next to you may be and i-Kalinga and you’re not even aware of it.

Lie #4 – They are poor

This is a major mistake you can be committing. That simple i-Kalinga lady wearing an ordinary dress is an owner of several rice paddies in their village. She may even have hidden ingots of gold in her treasure chest at home. Kalinga people are not extravagant in dressing up to the nines, so don’t judge by appearances.

Lie #5 – They are naïve

Ooops, as previously mentioned, don’t judge by appearances. They may appear naïve because of how simple they dress and live but this is an outright lie. Kalinga people are highly intuitive of things and events around them. Hence, treat them smartly for your own good. Have you heard other lies about the Kalinga people? If you agree or disagree with this list you can leave a comment on the comment box below. Your thoughts and ideas would be greatly appreciated. “Matago-tago tako losan.” (Long life to all of us.)

Monday, November 16, 2015

Top 5 Reasons Why Your Kalinga Man Won’t Marry You

You met this tall, dark, handsome, witty and intelligent Kalinga man, and you have plans of marrying him, but he has never mentioned marriage or talked about any marriage plans with you. Apparently, there seems to be a problem! So what may these problems be?

Image credit: Benedict Ballug

Here are the Top 5 possible reasons why your Kalinga man has not proposed marriage. These reasons are opinionated and are based on my own observations. Hence, you can leave your comment below if you don’t agree with me.

 #1 - He perceives you as a girlfriend material only 

He’s attracted to you and he’s your boyfriend but he does not perceive you as a wife material. Even during this new generation of women liberation and similar beliefs, at heart, the Kalinga man would still like his wife to be pure and pristine when he marries her.

Yes, Virginia, virginity matters. No matter how he denies it, he still wants his wife to be a virgin. So, if you want him to marry you, don’t surrender one of the most important things to him – your virginity. Don’t be a playgirl.

Well, men, in general, would not want their future wives to be “players.” In other words, treasure and respect yourself, and he will likewise do so - enough to ask your hand in marriage.

#2 – You belong to another economic level 

Kalinga men are not particular about economic levels but they prefer women who can speak the same language they speak, in terms of finances; someone they can bring home and not feel uncomfortable with. In case, you belong to the extremes: filthy rich or the poorest of the poor then learn how to follow his leads.

If he eats on a banana leaf with his bare hands, then you must be able to do so too. If he uses a silver spoon to eat, then you should be able to adjust, as well. His parents would say: “Nuw, umma agumman ne sanat atde koon tako.” (What would she know about our customs?) Learn about the customs of Kalinga, if you’re from another province and you’re not familiar with them.

#3 – You’re too romantic for his taste 

Most women tend to be romantics, but take note that most Kalinga men are not showy of their feelings, so they tend to appear unromantic. They don’t usually hold your hand or demonstrate their affection in public. But it doesn’t mean they love you less. They feel that these affectionate acts should be done in private.

Therefore, don’t demand from him sweetness and similar things, when in public. If he holds your hand or put his arm around your shoulders, then be thankful for it. But don’t initiate the action. You may appear cheap and clingy.

#4 – You’re boisterous 

Most Kalinga men want their wives quiet and attentive - especially to their men. Kalinga is a patriarchal community where men are heard first before women. They don’t want nagging and noisy wives, who don’t know their places in the household. They would prefer to marry women who are reserved and who respect their authority as men.

#5 – You’re lazy 

One of the good traits of the Kalinga people, in general, is industry. They’re so industrious spending their time working wherever they can. It’s very rare to find someone just being a couch potato. You’ll have more points if you know how to do the dishes, wash, and cook. Of course, he’s not looking for a housemaid, but he would prefer marrying someone who can feed him and his future kids properly - even without a maid.

These are the Top 5 reasons why your Kalinga boyfriend can’t marry you. Of course, love conquers all. If your boyfriend truly loves you, then nothing can stop him from proposing marriage.

These are only pointers to help you capture the heart of your Kalinga man. It can also help you gain more “beauty” points to increase your chances of receiving a marriage proposal.